Vogue

I Didn't Get The Gay Fashion Gene, among others

I’ve never really cared that much about clothes¹, and my esthetic has always been comfort first—which has become more and more true the older I get. I’ve always hated wearing jackets and ties; male drag when I was growing up was extremely dull and boring and not something I could ever get behind. I dress up as rarely as possible; I’ve always said part of the reason I became a writer was because writers are generally considered eccentric and can dress how they please.

I also associate jackets and ties with shitty 9 to 5 jobs, weddings, and funerals…none of which are things I’ve ever enjoyed or want to be a party to.

I’ve also never really got fashion, to be honest.

And for most of my life, men’s fashion has been pretty fucking boring.

As a lifelong reader of history, I always used to envy men of the past, who got to wear fun clothes. The seventeenth century—France in particular—is my favorite period for men’s clothes, undoubtedly because of The Three Musketeers. I love those men’s blouses with the open neck and puffy sleeves, the boots and the hats…but there were undoubtedly drawbacks to those clothes in the actual period. People didn’t bathe as much, for one, and there was no climate control, for another.

I never much cared for the powdered wigs of the eighteen century, but the men in Dangerous Liaisons had fun clothes.

And wore make-up.

When I was younger and closeted, the last thing I ever wanted to do was call more negative attention to myself, so I tried to dress as much like everyone else as I could. (Now that I think about it, I think maybe I did get the gay fashion gene, but decades of trying to fit in and be nondescript in my clothing choices rather than daring and dressing like I wanted to kind of killed it…and after being a fitness trainer for so long I just defaulted to the comfort of sweats, which is still my default at home now.)

But one of the things that has really pleased me over the past few years is seeing how young male celebrities are not being brow-beat into the suit-or-tux red carpet tyranny and are actually wearing clothes that are not only stylish but very different from traditional male drag—and good for them! Sometimes the style doesn’t work, but even in those cases I give them props for trying.

Technically, Joe Locke (left) is “traditionally” dressed, but I like the Regency look to his tux, and the vest is cool. His Heartstopper co-star Kit Connor (center) looks terrific in shimmery fabric, and of course Timothee Chalamet (right) has become one of my favorite male fashion plates.

I kind of like that young men no longer feel bound to show up in conformist male drag.

And let’s not forget my own occasional attempts at different formal wear…like the kilt I wore to the Edgars:

But this is how I usually dress, although nowadays the shirt has sleeves and my jeans are stretchy and from Costco. I still wear that belt, and that picture is pre-2010, I believe.

I also like wearing hats, and have a few that I rarely get a chance to wear. I also like Oxfords for dress shoes, and have several pairs in different colors—but the black and white ones are my favorites (I have two different pairs of those)…and my Oxfords are the only reason I enjoy having to wear dressier clothes than what I usually do.

(You can get cool Oxfords pretty cheap at Bass Outlet Stores. I have two other pair. Note to self: visit Gonzalez Outlet Mall again.)

And while we have the ability to dress (within limits, of course) to express ourselves in our choice of clothing at work, I generally wear jeans (stretchy and comfortable, off the tables in Costco), and either a Polo-style shirt or a T-shirt; sweaters in the winter because it’s always cold in the office year round. I can’t see myself one day deciding to wear my kilt to the office, or a pirate blouse and knee boots and breeches and a hat with a plume for anything other than Halloween—and I generally come as “surly employee who wants to retire”.

Plus, I don’t want to be spending money on clothes.

If anyone cares enough to pay attention, you’ll have noted that I wear red, black and white in some combination most of the time when I do dress up. That’s because I also have an odd kind of color blindness. I can’t tell dark colors apart, for one, and for another, I’m never really sure if colors go together or not. I’m never sure if it’s okay to wear a color in different shades, either, and my dress shoes are also limited. I have a nice pair of black leather slip on dress shoes (there’s a name for that type of shoe but damned if I know what is it), and the four pairs of Oxfords, and my white New Balance walking shoes. I need to (but won’t) buy clothes to go with my shoes; or buy shoes to match the other clothes I have. (I probably won’t do that either.)

I also live in New Orleans, where it’s hotter than Satan’s taint from late May through late September, and I sweat a lot. That kind of quells any “I want to be stylish today!” moment I might have during those months. And then I fall into a rut, and it’s just easier to wear the jeans and Polo-style shirts every day and not think about it.

And I don’t want to fall into any kind of ruts anymore.

But I’ll probably stick to red, black and white for dressing up. I do love my black-and-white Oxfords, after all.

They really pop with black slacks.

1. I also didn’t get the Broadway musical and opera genes, either; more on that in a later post.